Elvish sadness

Ever wonder why Elves always seem to sad? It is becasue they will. Over the course of their lifetimes see the rise and fall of everything they could ever love, and then they must endure without it..... until even they have become a tale on the tip of a bard's tongue. I have seen the fall of homes, of citites and of Kingdoms, along with the birth and passage of many that I have found means to call dear. And it seems that those that I could cling to through to a rivvil would seem eterinity. I almost as a rule do not. As do the rest of our kin, even if it is a forest that they love. The world around us changes completely. And so do we along with it. Though whether it is for salvation or for destruction in the end, that is for the gods to sort out becasue regardless I am still mortal. There are things going on in the passing of the ages than any of us can come to fathom. I can only hope that in the end it becomes a joke as we were the one with the puppet master's strings all along.

Family

Family.

Such a simple thing to a lot of people, but something that is almost completely a non-existance in all my years. Well at least until now.

Sure, over the years I had those that I considered family, but only much more recently really. It wasn't until I left Ched Nasad that I Started understanding just what that might mean. In the realm of Camelot Reborn, I learned further by gaining God-children, a completely rivvil concept, but there, it seemed that all the beings followed along with it and so did I. By the Maiden, I was even wean mother to Valas during those times.

Did I regret it then? No. It enriched me as a person and for the sake of being with the children, it was quite enjoyable as well.

Now it seems that I have more family than anyone can deal with. Valas was lost and is now found. I now have a husband and a child on the way. A mate that has been lost to me, her children have come to see their blood Mother and Father, with me being their heart mother and my mate their birth mother. (trust me I am still confused by it all) And it seems that even more family is comming out of the shadows to give me a call.

Is this a bad thing? Not necessairily, though I will fully admit that I am quite overwhelmed by it as well. I have been a nobody in the eyes of the world for so long and now, now... I have more roles to more people than I know what to do with them. I am honestly afraid of whether or not I will actually be able to do for all these souls, what they expect of me and if not exceed them as well.

In that as well it seems that I have been able to make even closer friends as well than I have been able to in the past. A very odd feeling let me assure you. One risked his own life because he knew I was in danger knowing the foe and I already knew where. I did what I could to keep him out of it but sometimes rivvil don't understand the meaning of "let me deal with it its too dangerous for you" a frustrating but admirable trait. Another followed me straight into the Underdark when I was brought back there and really, would rather not have. Turns out he had been in a cell just a few doors down from me the entire time and I didn't know it. He tried to escape when he realized I had managed to get out and even still he is creating his own presence in Har'oloth and no matter what he says, I know it is only because of me.

Will I ever be able to return their kindness? I hope so in all honesty. Though now it is getting to the point that I will have more places to call home than a denzien that resides on more than one plane. Oh wait a minute, I rather already do.

All I can do is pray to the gods for guidance and the strength to have so many ties that bind, so many ways my heart can be torn. Something, I haven't known before.

I am both estatic, and scared out of my wits.